Time and again, it has been proven that MONEY and FRIENDSHIP don’t mix! To say that doing so is a curse, is probably anunderstatement – money (due to its perceived “importance” in this material world) is capable of destroying even the deepest
friendship there is. Many of you may have read or personally witnessed how a common friend sued another friend, or how a family member filed a case against a close relative due to MONEY – unpaid debts, failed joint business ventures, disagreements on inheritance, common properties, and so on.

It is now normal (aside from love life, of course) to read all sorts of drama (rants in the form of quotes or blind item/s) regarding “unpaid debts” and “betrayal of trust” between supposed friends posted on social media (facebook, instagram, twitter) for everyone to see, comment on, or worst,“ like”.
Again, I reiterate that money and friendship don’t mix, why? Well, here is
my story…
I used to be very close to a gay cousin whom I grew up with — we shared the same interests, secrets (crushes mostly), hobbies, and all sorts of activities – more than blood relatives, we were the best of friends! We only parted ways when I went to college and eventually found work – but we made sure to keep in touch.
One day, he called me telling me about his plan to go abroad. A friend of his (from an agency, I was told) was to help him find a job – he only needed to raise the required amount and an extra for his pocket money.
As a relative and friend, I wanted to help him. I didn’t have much that time since I was only starting with my career. But anyway, I agreed to withdraw all my savings (not that much) and lent him the money (with his promise that he will repay me within 3 months after he starts work, and wishful thinking that he would regularly send me packages of shoes, bags, perfume etc.) He needed “quite an amount” so aside from me, he asked for loans from other relatives and
friends.
While processing his papers, I accommodated him in my studio type apartment. We were really happy and excited as it was the time for us to bond after a long time. As we stayed together however, I noticed that he was spending a lot using his “borrowed” money.
We started to have arguments since I didn’t approve of his ways — like his often spending eating out while there is food available at home, his going shopping for the “pink luggage” (we were arguing because I was insisting for him to use the old one) he ultimately loved, and his supposed outfits (while his papers were not yet even approved) and “all sorts of stuff” he will be using abroad.
Resentment started to develop – I started to hate him because he was spending my money on unnecessary things, while I was left with no savings. The last straw came, when I asked him to lend me a small part of my money
(will return after 3 days) because I needed to pay something urgently and I was already short of cash. Since he was not yet scheduled to leave for abroad, I expected him to readily give in to my request. But to my surprise, he told me that he can’t because he would need the money anytime and could not gamble on me not being able to return on
time—the nerve! We had a full blown fight complete with cursing and tears! He left my place and we never talked again.
The last time I saw him was through his facebook post (thru my sister’s account) – striking a pose at the airport with his sunglasses on, his “pink luggage” in tow, and his sweetest smile…During that time, I really felt hurt and sad. I really cared for him and wished him nothing but the best, but due to money, unexpected emotions just blew up — hmmm when I think again, I could have been a little more restraint….then maybe, we would still be friends…Hmmm
there goes my money and…. our FRIENDSHIP.
Lesson learned, do not gamble your friendships by mixing it with money
matters. Avoid doing the following to your friends.

Comments

  1. That is so sad! It makes me mad to think he did that to you! Maybe he will have a conscience about it, one day. Hopefully, other people can learn from this and not make the same mistake out of friendship and caring. It almost sounds as if he planned to use you and not return the money from the beginning. Hmm… sometimes people end-up needing someone, again. Don’t burn your bridges, friends who are thinking of “borrowing” money and not paying it back! Great article!

  2. Here’s a good lesson to learn from; taken this guy’s advice and don’t end-up in an awkward situation. It’s not worth a friendship. If you really must loan money to a friend, go to a notary public, (the bank you bank with usually provides such services). Write an agreement and have it signed by both parties, (you and your friend) and notarized by the notary there. This way, you at least have a document where the agreement is in writing just in case you end-up in small claims court over the loan.

    1. It’s not so easy to ask for legal backups to lend him a loan as stated. It’s quiet the best thing but you need to consider that this person is your own friend. It looks weird when you ask for such legal back up. To me if you must give your friend a loan, you just need to be extra careful…

  3. Never lend money that you’ll need in the immediate future. For example, if your friend needs $200, but the only cash available is for your rent or mortgage that’s due in the next couple of weeks, you’re better off telling the person you can’t help. Going back to the first point, there’s no guarantee this person will repay the money before you need it, which can complicate your finances. You might deal with late fees, or have to seek a loan for yourself.

  4. Sometimes friends need help, and I try to be there for them. But I’ll admit that a few of the times I have lent money to friends it had not ended well. Let this article be a guide to those who would lend their friends money. It can really complicate things!

  5. We discovered a great deal through each encounter. Most of all, We found that I’ll in no way mortgage cash in order to family member or friend once again, for that factors lay out right here. In the event that you’ve currently chosen to mortgage cash in order to somebody in your area, here are a few ideas that will help you offset a few possible places with regard to conversation complete breakdowns.

  6. I let my friends borrow money if there’s an emergency. I don’t mind if they pay me or not. What is important is I had helped them when they needed me. But if my friends borrow money because they will use it to buy expensive things I won’t let my friends have even a single penny from me. After reading this article I’ve realized that there are friendships which ended because of money.

  7. As you said, the confidence is a problem when it comes to money deals. I do not like to put them together because of that, I know of some really long term friendships that have crushed just because of the money. It is a very sad situation that I do not desire to anyone.

  8. Lovely article to behold. Some friends can be crazy and take your simplicity for foolishness, this are the friends who knows that you cannot hurt a fly, they will borrow money from you and may decide not to pay you back knowing who you are already, so it is best if you avoid lending money to such friends.

  9. Lending money to friends has ended lots of friendship. As for me, whenever a friend request for a raise that I can’t let go, i tell them I don’t have because I don’t ask friends for refund. It really piss me off to continue asking for refund. I am most times ashamed of even asking.

  10. If the would-be borrower continues to plead with or badger you, remember that you cannot wreck your finances to prop up someone else. It’s really ok to reply, I am not in a position to help you, and I won’t discuss it further. Sorry, Be prepared to hang up the phone or walk out of the room.

  11. Money is the root of all evil. Even friendships that you have built for a decade can be destroyed because of small amount of money. That’s disgusting but it can really happen. Read this very enlightening article to find out the reasons you should not lend money to your friends especially if you know that they can’t pay you.

  12. This article is saddening to read. Personally, I let my friends borrow money from me if they say that they really need it. I don’t usually expect or ask them to pay me back since I want to help them. I just expect them to do the same when I’m in the same situation.

  13. When friends borrow, I always say I don’t lend money because I don’t want to lose their friendship. I usually give Php 200.00 but do not ask them to pay it back. That’s my contribution so they will just be borrowing less than their original money needs.

  14. I think generalizing this to all of your friends is also wrong. I don’t really think that lending money to friends is a mistake. Why? there are certain reasons why a friend decides to borrow money. Real friends of course should be the ones lent and the fair-weather friends. You should put a line between which friends you do not want to lend money with. What you experienced with one friend may not be true to all. Because while I was in college, I got friends who would borrow money and I would lend them an amount that I could just give. Yes, if you are to lend money to a friend, expect it not to be returned so there are no hard feelings.

  15. That is true but sometimes we can’t help it to help people in need especially our so called friends. Money is not the basis of friendship but it will be the rust of the relation of being buddies. All these years, I always encountered this kind of situation, people never learned.

  16. I believe that Money and Friends does mix; you just didn’t have the right friend. A true friend would pay their debt, no matter how big, or small it is. If someone knows the feeling of having nothing, then that certain someone would be great, for they shall understand what you’ll feel.

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